A MOTHER of two from Rake is heading a nationwide campaign to help people find the words they need to support those who suffer bereavement.

Shocked and saddened that people crossed the road rather than speak when she lost her father Brian Donovan to cancer, Nicola Dove has launched the "Four Little Words" campaign.

Nicola of Cold Harbour Wood said: “The same thing happened when my mother died of a brain tumour five years ago.

"Some people turn on their heels rather than face you. This isn’t unkindness but utter awkwardness and the fear of saying the wrong thing to people who have lost loved ones."

"It was the same when I phoned utility companies and businesses to inform them my dad had died, more often than not there was just an awkward silence or I was put on hold.

“When you lose someone you love, you need to hear those words ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ to validate the sadness you are feeling."

In response Nicola, a freelance writer, launched her campaign aimed at helping people feel less uncomfortable acknowledging death, and encouraging the use of the phrase, “sorry for your loss.”

She said: “Other bereaved people have told me exactly the same thing has happened to them. I found it so sad to hear the same painful story repeated time and again.

"My campaign is very simple, I want to spread four little words, "sorry for your loss" until everyone can say them.

“Grief can feel very isolating and this is one small way that people can show compassion to those around them, even someone you barely know. "We should be there for each other if we can. "

Four Little Words already has a growing number of followers on social media, and has nearly 1,500 followers on Twitter too.

Nicola said: "I m so pleased it s getting it out there thanks to some great support from my 15 year old daughter, Maddie."

"I have been inundated with messages from people sharing their stories and welcoming the campaign. One of the saddest was from a lady whose young son lost a classmate in a road traffic accident.

"She told me that she saw the bereaved mother standing alone in town and went over to say she was sorry for her loss, only to learn that she was the very first person to have done that. Others had ignored her instead. I find that shocking.

"As well as receiving countless examples of people being avoided while they are grieving, I have been have contacted by lots of people saying the exact opposite, that it was kindness and the support of those around them that got them through a difficult time.”

As well as trying to spread her campaign as far and wide as possible, Nicola’s aim is to see an educational programme showing children how to support each other through bereavement.

She said: "Psychologists who counsel bereaved children say that for them the worst thing is when their friends avoid them afterwards.

“When my own daughter told her drama class that she had lost her grandfather, only one felt able to offer any condolences. And these are confident eighteen year olds.

"We teach our children manners, but I think we should also try and equip them with the tools to respond when a person dies.

"It’s certainly not easy telling somebody you are sorry for their loss, but not hearing it said is even harder."

To join Four Little Words go to www.facebook.com/fourlittlewords/ or follow the campaign on Twitter @sorry4yl.